In some selfish, twisted universe somewhere else that is not here, I rule over the world with an iron fist. My brain infests all beings and they do what I say. Nothing is wrong. No one does anything I don't want them to.

However, this is not a selfish and twisted world. This is the real world, which is still selfish and twisted, but has individualism. People have the right to make choices.

Choices. Sometimes they really hurt. Those kids behind me in math need to stop talking about getting high. That kid needs to stop bugging me because I think smoking and drugs are wrong. I have such a need to express things to them. Yell at them. But I don't. I never have. I keep everything, all of my opinions bottled up in a sad little jar which is my brain. I dwell upon it for hours and hours and hours until I just kind of want to do something violent about it. I don't do violent things. My heart aches. I've been quiet for so long and I have been so passive, and I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up on the wrong person. I am afraid what I'm going to do to people around me and to myself. I want to cry. I've forgotten how.

I'm just not very happy right now.